"People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' If a dog can do it, you can watch. they don't wanna know about you. George Carlin's 'Wake Up America' bit went viral in July 2020. This cookie is used for advertising, site analytics, and other operations. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in.
On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. This cookie is used for email services. They own and control the corporations. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. This narrative is based on a deliberate fiction. Take George Carlin, for example. Nobody seems to care. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. Set by addthis.com to determine the usage of addthis.com service. 02. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, 'Why not?' Try spelling Evian backward. We havent tried that for a while. ", 36. Just like homeless people. Some critics felt that Ice Cube's willingness to work with Republicans signaled his support for Trump. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice.
Whitney Webb on the Globalist Overlords Meeting in Davos AddThis sets this cookie to enable the visitors to share the web pages on social platforms via sharing buttons on the website. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. ", 100. On Election Day, I stay home. The cookie, set by Krux Digital, registers a unique ID that identifies a returning user's device. George Carlin. Casale Media sets this cookie to collect information on user behavior, for targeted advertising. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. September 12, 2019. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ", 60. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. This is one of the greatest social and political commentaries of the modern era. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Theres a nice campaign slogan for somebody: The Public Sucks. Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. "People are fucking nuts. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Used by Microsoft Advertising as a unique ID for visitors. YSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages. Like the public. leaked draft opinion from the Supreme Court. This cookie is used to detect and defend when a client attempt to replay a cookie.This cookie manages the interaction with online bots and takes the appropriate actions. Now one of his most famous routines has swept the internet a dozen years after his death. They've got the judges in their back pockets. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. In the clip, Carlin says the pro-life movement isnt pro-life at all. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads "How can [God] be perfect? ", 117. This cookie is native to PHP applications. They're all in favor of the unborn. Even sex has to be approached from, shall we say, a different angle to accommodate pain. "If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both f**ked. Now, some people like to twist that around. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. ", 105. ", 31. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. - Gin Wigmore. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. He died from heart failure in 2008, survived by his second wife Sally Wade, and his daughter, Kelly. January Nelson is a writer, editor, and dreamer. But once youre born, youre on your own. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. '", 78. "I put a dollar in a change machine. ", 80. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ", 24. And they all vote. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? This cookie is used to track the behavior of a user within the current session.
George Carlin on the American Dream (with transcript) Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. ", 81. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin years ago. "There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls. "I think people shouldbe allowed to do what they want. We're so self-important. That doesnt help them. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. Juno3127 10 years ago You couldn't be more wrong. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. You dont. ", 55. ", 10. "I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
George Carlin: Complaints & Grievances (2001) - IMDb Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. "Some people see the glass half full. ", 34. "People are wonderful one at a time. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. "'Bipartisan' usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. The Monday night crucifixions! They dont want to hear from you. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. ""This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. ""This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. You don't. Chartbeat sets this cookie to store information about when a visitor has visited the site before. Doesnt give a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of these bad results. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. ", 19. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. "That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. Everybody's . It was during the waning of the Nixon years, where confidence in government was beginning its slide down to the Stygian depths where it rests today; the Vietnam War, and racial unrest, continued to rage on. It seems only right. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. "Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. Known for his lack of patience for bullshit, the comedian regularly skewered all politicians, the election of Donald Trump as president would have particularly peeved him. No nothing. Change). You don't. You have no choice. This cookie is used for preventing the installation of third party advertiser or other cookies on the browser.
Here's Why George Carlin's 1996 Rant on Pro-Life Conservatives - Mic This problem can be solved by pre-school children in 5-10 minutes. Weve addedyearstolifenotlife to years. George Carlin, Heres a bumper sticker Id like to see: We are the proud parents of a child whos self-esteem is sufficient that he doesnt need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car. George Carlin, Well, if crime fighters fight crime and firefighters fight fires, what do freedom fighters fight? George Carlin, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. "He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever f**k things up this badly. What if I want to have a crappy day? This cookie supports the website's live support provider. Well, we know what they want: They want more for themselves and less for everybody else.". That's the problem. . Part of HuffPost Entertainment. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. After that, they don't want to know about you. Toothpicks?
50+ hilarious Cowboy jokes that will make your day: quotes, sayings Well, we know what they want. "A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. You have OWNERS! ", 125. 43. On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. George Carlin. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. George Carlin Shitting on GovernmentBuy Me a Pizzahttps://www.buymeacoffee.com/LaughPlGEORGE CARLINhttps://www.youtube.com/user/OfficialGeorgeCarlin/feedGeorge's websitehttps://georgecarlin.com/Social Media:\rInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelaughplanetofficial/\rYoutube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiI_jyH_0yttWG-m5fBYGmA\rTwitter: https://twitter.com/laugh_planet\rWebsite: http://thelaughplanet.comContact us: ash98jha@gmai.com #GeorgeCarlin #Government #America #Comedy #LaughPlanet "The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. I think I was probably a cowboy in a past life. F*ck Hope. Craziest Republican Quotes of the 21st Century, The Funniest Political Quotes of All Time, Funny Arnold Schwarzenegger Quotes as Actor and Politician, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. ", 13. '", 93. Bing sets this cookie to recognize unique web browsers visiting Microsoft sites. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. "Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. Men are insecure about the size of their dicks, and so they have to kill one another over the idea. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. To me, war is a lot of prick-waving!
The Friars Club Encyclopedia of Jokes Revised and Updated ( PDFDrive It also helps in fraud preventions. Everybody says they suck. They dont wanna hear from you. ", 21.
News about Volusia County Florida (and more) on Twitter: "RT "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
George Carlin They Don't Give a Fu@k About You - YouTube Photo: Matthias Clamer (modified by author) Source: Getty Images One-liner jokes.
The Religion and Political Views of George Carlin - Hollowverse They don't care about you at all -- at all -- at all. "I don't believe anything the government tells me.". His beliefs in fairness and equality in. Its a big club and you aint in it. "Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. He was 71 years old. ''It's called the American Dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ""Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren't they? The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? ""Deep Throat: Think about it. Jesse Kelly wanted to whip his followers into homophobic outrage, but it sure AF didnt work. ", 8. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. Bomb them! And of course, the bombs and the rockets and the bullets are all shaped like dicks. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them. In 1972, he was arrested for violating obscenity laws after his infamous comedy sketch, 7 Words You Can Never Say On Television.
"Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. "I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' What do you get at the end of it? ", 3. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. Most are only interested in self pleasures and bad habits. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. He loves you, and He needs money! "It's called the American dream . No neonatal care, no daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. This country is full of nitwits and assholes. If you're born in America you get a front row seat. ", 33. You have no right to complain. And nobody seems to notice. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. "Religion is like a pair of shoes: Find one that fits for you, but don't make me wear your shoes. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no right to complain. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. I'm f**kin' serious! Enter your email address to follow Motley News. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelette? George Carlin, Laugh often, long and loud. ", 69. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. It's so f**kin' heroic. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. "Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. "Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. When youre born in America, you get a front row seat. George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Weve learned how to make aliving, but not alife. Nobeody seems to care. This cookie is used for DNS Prefetch and HTTP2 Push. This cookie, set by PubMatic, is used to build a profile of user interests and to show relevant ads. This is the best we can do folks. You ever notice that? Its called fucking with people! ", 2. They believe a womans primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state.. "Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. Carlin is usually spot on. ", 4. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York.
George Carlin's rant about who owns politicians is haunting Donald